I was always into Linkin Park. I realize that the reason for this is because of their lyrics, and the fact that I could relate.  As I was going through my torture, or living through my sexual abuse, their songs and music made since to me.  Check out these lyric clips that I’ve gathered on the internet.

Everything you say to me
(Takes me one step closer to the edge)
(And I’m about to break)
I need a little room to breathe
(‘Cause I’m one step closer to the edge)
(I’m about to break)

Nothing seems to go away     <—— No matter how I told him it made me feel, he wanted more,
Over and over again                               it felt like it would never end!
(Just like before)

Shut up when I’m talking to you     <——- This is how I felt up leading up to when I left and still feel this way
Shut up, shut up, shut up                                   when I think about talking with him
Shut up when I’m talking to you
Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up
I’m about to break

Lyrics from One Step Closer… I felt like I was.

 

You love the way I look at you     <——-       These need no Explanation

While taking pleasure

In the awful things you put me through

You take away if I give in
My life, my pride is broken

You like to think you’re never wrong
(You live what you’ve learned)

You have to act like you’re someone

 

Lyrics from Points of Authority

I can’t seem to find myself again  <—–  Do I really need to explain?
My walls are closing in
(Without a sense of confidence)
(I’m convinced that there’s)
(Just too much pressure to take)
I’ve felt this way before so insecure

Crawling in my skin
These wounds they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real

Discomfort, endlessly has pulled
Itself upon me distracting, reacting
Against my will I stand beside my own reflection
It’s haunting how I can’t seem

Lyrics from Crawling

Just posting these has made me angry, I guess trying to vent on this blog is only bringing my feelings to the surface. I guess that why I am doing it. I’ve never talked about them so openly.  I think one day I’ll email him the link to the home page of my blog and see how he decides to approach me, if he does at all. He’ll probably deny everything and say I’m there to hurt him and tear down his church.  If they only knew who is leading them, they sure as hell wouldn’t be following him. It’s funny how you can offer someone hope and they just seem to become completely blind to everything else. You tell them that Jesus loves them, speak things to them that “build their faith” offering hope and a happy ending of sorts and that’s all you need to get people to follow you. They’ll set you on a pedestal and you get to piss in their face by acting in the exact opposite way you teach and preach. You lying, hypocritical, no good bastard!